Sunday, September 18, 2011

Chapter 4: A Bigger Pain in the Ass Than A Bad Case of Hemorrhoids

As it has come to my attention that I will be unable to receive Billys photos from New Orleans for sometime, I will be continuing the story in the mean time with a few holes in the story.

Ah the passage of time. Amazing how with just the simple flow of time one can go from feeling on top of the world to a comparable state to that of a decaying carcass in a mere few hours. By this of course I am referring to the state in which I awoke on what would have been the fourth morning of trip, and my 6th consecutive hangover.

As my comrades staggered out of bed and straight onto vodka shots and beer bottles, I elected to writhe morosely in bed till the ungodly hour of 10 in the morning. After a while I pulled my ready to flatline body out of bed, and following a short stint sitting by the pond, I joined by brothers with bottles.

After a quick chat, and a new addition to our ranks (space turtle steve, or what ever the fuck his name was) we decided to head for lunch. As tempting as it seemed to get completed hammered at the bright early hours, my body was feeling far too taxed.

Until I found out Margaritas and Mojitos were in laying wait!

We ordered up a mexi feast. Burritos, fish tacos, and all the other main culprits such as nachos and the like arrived. A tasty feast, although I was still a bit too hungover to really stuff my face.

After lunch we decided to take a stroll through a place I clearly felt (and looked) like I belonged... the cemetery.

Yes the famous New Orleans (general Louisiana) cemetery's. Renowned for their above ground graves. Graves being erected above ground due to Louisiana having a high water table, apparently if you put a casket in a hole dug a few feet down it will literally float. Bizarre no? The resulting product though is a series of beautifully constructed tombs.

I did eventually, or perhaps even inevitably crack and decide it was beer time.

After a while it was back to the hostel to freshen up and see all the lovely people. Including everyone's favourite Lindy Hoppers, Leah, Daniela, and some bloke I never met, or maybe just didn't care to remember.

Still feeling rough under New Orleans heated humid sun, a swim was in order.

***MISSING REEL (er... picture)***
Well it would be this stage of the story I would have showed you picture to tease and tantalize you of a delicious supper we ate, but they are flying over the pacific ocean at the moment.

So we dined. Finally on some god damn Cajun food. Three of us elected to start our meals with a cup of turtle soup! Exciting, something new and exotic. An absolutely delicious dish, that would be eaten again in a heartbeat. The downside? I was so incredibly full after eating a mere small cup, I was sitting in a bad way for my 20$ main course set to arrive momentarily. After a while the mains came out, I had a massive soft shell crab with chips and a garlic gravy type sauce. Anton with the calfs liver, Billy the assorted plate of fried oysters, cat fish, shrimp and other tasty bits, and Denise bringing in the plain unsalted boiled potatoes to suit her very pedestrian Irish palate. Just kidding Denise, I don't actually remember what you ate, shrimp or calamari jump to mind though. All the meals were excellent, I highly recommend the restaurant, to which I don't remember the name of. Sorry.

After dinner there was a consensus, we were all impregnated with food. Bursting at the seems walking back to our hostel. We arrived back to a lively brass band. Drinks abounded, dancing, smiles, pretty girls, and 3 weary travellers so heavily over fed passed out in bed from food exhaustion. Shit.

We did manage to see in a few chats and beverages mind you. Billy was the first to disappear, followed shortly by Denise and myself.

Good night again New Orleans. We'll see you tomorrow for further madness.

Well in closing, whats brown on the outside, a bigger pain in the ass then a bad case of hemorrhoids, and plays the French tromboner? Well if you don't know, then fall to your knees and thank what ever deity you believe in (or in the case of fellow atheists, just crack another beer and be thankful your smart enough to not believe in any deity. Ah shit, I've gone and alienated another audience. Ah well shur, if ya can't take a joke your in the wrong feckin place anyway.), because I do know, and had to put up with it for a good few days to boot! Yes folks, I already took that painful burdening experience so you could only have to read about it. How Christ like of me... Anyway, coming soon to an internet browser near you; Chapter 5: Where the Wild Things Are.

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